Today’s installment of why“but it has always been like this!” is a bullshit argument: @nitratediva lays down the law about the role of women in early Hollywood
Character A: Today was kind of a cheat day for me, haha. I went on my morning run at 7 instead of 6 and I had a little whipped cream with my breakfast fruit.
Character B: I’ve eaten nothing but Pepsi and Oreos for the past two weeks.
(submitted by sanityswap)
To the people who say kids won’t understand what transgender means
When my baby cousin Charlee maybe a year or two old, I presented myself as female and went by my birthname. Two years later, I am now Zachary and presenting as full male. My family members all either call me Z, Zach, or Zachary, and all use male pronouns.
My baby cousin Charlee was never once confused by this. She heard my Uncle (her dad) refer to me as Zach and “he” on the phone, so she has been doing it since.
This honestly took me by surprise because she never once asked any questions or was confused that I went from presenting as female to presenting as male. Hell, everyone was surprised. Charlee was from the south, afterall, and I rarely got to see her besides once every year or two.
Fast forward a couple weeks after their visit, I got a call from my Uncle. He told me about how they finally asked Charlee what she thought about me going from female to male and she said, and I quote, “Zach isn’t trans, he’s just Zach! He was a girl but now he’s a boy because he’s happier as a boy. So who cares what I think as long as he’s happy! Ooh, can we get ice cream for dinner?!”
Three years old, and she didn’t even need an explanation to understand why I’m transgender. Unlike most adults, who get an explanation and still treat me/us like shit.
so at the bar in which I work, there’s an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with ‘doorman’, which has led to me befriending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan.
now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the absolute love of my life. I don’t care that he’s a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they’re simply referred to as ‘a character’? that’s Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let’s describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scandinavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.
that’s Doorman Dan.
since meeting him last year, I’ve discovered:
he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said ‘shit happens’ on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM
he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was completely unaware they had broken up until he wished her a happy Christmas and she responded with ‘what the fuck Dan’
accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours
he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off
he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for ‘mystery adventures’, one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops
he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: “I’ll know when I meet him.”
he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him
his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. “I don’t even know if I’m invited, truth be told.”
when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn’t want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they’d like a snack
he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman’s Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he’s patrolling the bar
I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him
Every detail about this image is fucking hilarious
I’m dying. It’s currently February 26th, 2018. AND Jerry Trainor himself wrote this article
This is the most dumb thing I’ve ever read. How high up his own ass is this jerry trainor?!
Jerry Trainor is famous for portraying characters that are very very weird and in some cases will see themselves as the center of everything. What he is doing here is making fun of the white people complaining about there not being enough white people in black panther and mocking how Hollywood whitewashes a lot of fictional characters by claiming he, a late 2000s preteen show actor, should have played that level of an iconic role in a major film. He’s not serious about all of this he is using his own reputation as a weird character actor to ridicule racists.
honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
Reboot this post to be blessed with dream Obama’s wisdom
Ginger's Art n Junk 